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Your heartbreak has little to do with him (her)

Updated: Feb 4

There are deep needs and hurts that get exposed in a break up. It can feel like a dam has burst inside you. All the things you are afraid of, all the things you think about yourself, about men/women, about love, about hope, about loneliness are swirling around you. It can be hard to catch your breath, to find a moment of peace, a moment without that crushing pain.

I have been there, quite a few times, and most intensely at the end of my 15 year marriage, and in the aftermath of the end of a powerful and deeply meaningful relationship. I know that place.

And I’m not there any longer, and I know I'll never be there again. No matter how hard I love, or what happens in my relationships from here on in, that is not a place that will ever be part of my experience.

I learnt so much from those breakups.  I was fortunate to be guided so I could look at that pain, really look at it. And to discover what it was really made of.

What I discovered that gave me freedom, was that the pain was all mine to take care of. That it was me making me sad and angry and crazy. I wasn’t my exes, it was never them, it was me. It was a hard pill to swallow, I had to stop denying and blaming and reacting, stop playing the victim. I had to look right at myself.

Your heartbreak has little to do with him/her.

That's right. Your heartbreak is yours alone. Your ex can’t help you to heal, how can they, the heartbreak is all yours. In your healing process, they are essentially irrelevant.

This shift in perspective is so liberating.

When you work with me, this is where we start. With the foundation that what they did, what they said, what they didn’t do or didn’t say no longer matters. It's only the start of a journey that we take together. This is the journey back to your own center.

If you are interested and ready to take this journey please reach out and let's talk>>.

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